Monday, February 20, 2006 .

OH MY GOD!! i wanna come home! peking is HORRID. though the food is good and the weather's to my liking and the hotel's quite posh. BUT. everything is in chinese! sighhs. 7 more days to go and i will be back in sunny singapore!

`jiaqi.

aerin stoning again at 10:03 PM
------ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 .

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!
yay! valentine's here already. i have been greatly moved by the following people, which i will give an enormous thank you shoutout. (:
MAOMAO, JERILYN, CYNTHIA, JAN & sMELLIE:
FOR CELEBRATING THIS WONDERFUL LOVELY LOVING FULL OF LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY WITH ME!
YOU HAVE MADE THIS YEAR'S SPECIAL LOVE LOVE DAY EVEN MORE SPECIAL!
ZHIXIN FOR YOU LIL' WENNIE HAND SEWN HEART.
MELLIE: THANKS FOR SPENDING A VERY SWEATY AND BLISTERING HOT FEW HOURS WITH ME IN THE KUKU BOTANICAL GARDENS AND FOR BEING WILLING TO SPEND BUDGET LIFESTYLE WITH ME. ((:
JERILYN: FOR CARING.
MAOMAO: FOR CARING, COMING DOWN EARLY TO MEET ME SO I WOULDNT BE LONELY. FOR GOING TO ESPLANADE WITH ME AND GIVING ME A VERY MEMORABLE VALENTINE'S DAY!
JAN: FOR LISTENING, AND GOING TO THE ESPLANADE WITH ME! CHEER UP YAH? ((:
CYNTHIA: FOR BEING BERRY BERRY LATE. HAHAHA. AND FOR YOUR LOVELY NOTE AND ET-LIKE TORTOISE. I LOVE IT! ((:
and most of all, thank you to the following people for listening, caring and CRACKING ME UP! ((:

wow. you guys are like vitamins. you make me HEALTHIER and HAPPIER. ((: sighhs. i have no idea what im going to do if you all were not around. this week was event galore. results came back. i am rather disappointed with it, BUT at the same time, glad that there was vast improvement in my points and grades. so... thats good. and ill thank dearest God for this. a blessing to count, no doubt. took neoprints with zhixin, annie, mao, cynthia before going to subway for dinner. zhixin left soon after. and then... me and jerilyn were forced to do the most ah-lianish thing in our entire lives! to stand in some neoprint machine in that kuku neoprint store in fareast, use a digital camera of OUR OWN and take pictures NEOPRINT STYLE! hahah. it was more than hilarious. i never laughed so much till i teared. check out jerilyn's photoalbum to see the jokers of the century. we were so creative with our poses, i think we could have complied a book. what was MOST hilarious: jerilyn's gay pose and jeslin's PARTICULAR POSE. HAHA! sadly, that furry ball of fur deleted that picture i took with her. or else i could blackmail her with it. SHUCKS. haha. after a while, we used up ALL the left over memory in annie's camera. went to long johns to discuss about the aftermath of the disgusting Os and its bloody results, and then we headed home. i went to meet mel and xiaojie at novena after their training. had a sweet evening after that.

beautiful valentines today was a day to remember for the rest of my life. met mel in the morning to go walk and play hockey in the botanical gardens. i STILL suck at hockey. it was sweaty and blistering HOT. the sun was practically baking us from within. we were gonna melt anytime soon. and we look so tourist! mel held an umbrella, with a camera around her neck. and i had a hockey stick. haha. finally walked through the entire botanical gardens and ended up in tanglin. we were so budget! oh well. then, went to forum macs to sleep. and we DID fall asleep on the table, sleeping like pigs. hahaha. then she left for training. leaving me stranded. UNTIL... she called maomao and its MAOMAO TO THE RESCUE! haha. waited for that woman for a seriously long time before she finally turned up, and then found jerilyn, nabilah and her pj ncc friend sitting in a very auspicious spot. the sun was DIRECTLY shining over them. so we moved to subway. used my bag and jerilyn's giftbox as a shelter. ((: i was rather surprised that the box didnt catch fire. waited for cynthia for 2 hours just for a complete everyone's-here dinner. HAHA. chatted with everybody for afew hours, before ann and cyn left. so me, jan and mao left for esplanade! we were feeling like absolute extras there. it seemed like every couple in singapore swarmed there just for a ROMANTIC moonlight night. seriously. i was touched by mao's almost attempt to illegally pluck a flower JUST for her dear turtle. ((: went to the rooftop to sit. and THIS HOT MAGICIAN APPROACHED US! yay! we had a free magic show. and this guy is seriously pro. his tricks are really really REALLY REALLY pro. WOW. me and jeslin were honestly freaked out and wowed by his lil performance. sighhs. then it was time to leave. we sat behind the kuku merlion for quite some time, admiring the CLOUDS and asking ki like questions before realising that we MIGHT have to walk home! hahaha. which was a rather ridiculous idea since the possibility of us getting raped or robbed on the way was about 1:0. so we managed to take a bus back. mao on her 167, and me and jan on 100. jan cabbed home from my house, and i reached home safely. YAY.

`jiaqi.

aerin stoning again at 3:18 AM
------ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 .

wow. its been a while since i have updated. so FINALLY. -sweeps the corners of this blog- there. no more dust. HAHA. **SO LAME** happy news. i have watched I NOT STUPID TOO after a long long time. i see why that show is so popular. its damn funny lah! i was laughing non stop. its so... retarded. OH WELL. zhixin went with me to watch at ulu balestier shaw with adorable ryan and her pretty godsis. thank mellie for getting the tickets. or else, we wouldnt have gotten in on time. (: results are returning to us after such a long and sufferable wait. yay! im happy. have been dreaming of various possible scenarios. its rather freaking actually. i wish such things wouldnt have to come. but life's like that. and in some odd way, im quite glad that things are this way. went to sa yesterday. cooked the pasta that mao and ann have been waiting for. somehow, i felt unwanted. and nope, IM NOT BLAMING ANYBODY. so dont get pissed if you read this. i have been having pms anyway. i kinda got myself into some kinda sticky situation yesterday. been cooking since 10 plus. and yeahh. felt kinda sad when nobody seemed to appreciate my efforts. oh well. i guess everybody's stressed up at school. and then i truly understood what grace told me at macs a while ago. that my friends would in the end, make their own friends. and somewhat, everybody's got to move on. its a form of survival that dear God has input in us. i clearly didnt belong there, and that my buddies have made their own buddies. and i dont blame them. its how life works. and in some way, i kinda grew up that day. jiaqi's no longer a young kid. went for econs lecture. and again, i felt like hiding under my cosy blanket, pretending that nothing's changing. i was absolutely lost. like i was thrown into some ulu jungle. so all i did was take notes for dear xiaojie, who was busy with her friends. sighhs. i sound like i need prozac for breakfast tomorrow or something. if anyone thinks that lazying around for 2 blasted months is real fun, you're absolutely WRONG. do not be fooled by this huge temptation of sleeping 14 hours a day and having the freedom of doing whatever you want. this lifestyle is clearly a waste of my beautiful precious time. everything's different. and me, being an onlooker as well as a victim of this ever changing warp zone or whatever you call it, feels the pain. perhaps its easier when you guys are moving on too, but im not. im stuck fast to whatever's history.

im sorry. due to unforseen circumstances, i need more of your time. this has changed. is it still as beautiful to you? or has it turned into a daily routine, purely mechanical. where is your passion? or has it faded, like everything else? i cant seem to explain all these to you. somehow, im the only one who experiences all. maybe cos i have 24 hours free for me to analyse your actions, words. im scared of your sudden outbursts. they are so foreboding and ominous. im living in some shadow of how glorious and perfect things were. will you leave again, shrinking in the distance, disappearing once and for all? if you leave, i will NOT be fine.

"Going Away To College"

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I'll think about the times
You kissed me after class
And you put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in your locker?

`jiaqi.

aerin stoning again at 12:00 AM
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